got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize