why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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