I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
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