I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
