Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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