Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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