I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
