This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
