How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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