I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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