Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize