The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
