Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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