pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
