There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
