i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
