I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
