We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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