operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
