I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
