Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
