I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
