Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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