Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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