Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
this is an emotional support booty call
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
