Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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