He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
