I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
