I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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