that's an acceptable place to lick
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
