I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
