i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize