fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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