With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
