Screwed.edu
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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