They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
