he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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