Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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