everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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