You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
