He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
