why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
