Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize