There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
