I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
