So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
