dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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