The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
