Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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