PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
