oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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