Me too!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
