made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
