cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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