is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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