I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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