Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
