I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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