His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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