It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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