Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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